Navigating the Complexities of Friendship and Life at 75

Finding Hope in the Waves of Friendship and Life

Friendship in Different Seasons

Our reader finds themselves in a strange situation. Appearing extroverted yet feeling lonely, their get-togethers with friends have transformed into frenetic kid-focused affairs. The gap between them and their friends, once close, now breaks their heart. They've tried to branch out at work but often receive little social effort in return. These deep blue moods make them question the value of friendship.

Friendship, like everything else, comes in waves. Each wave, whether happy or sad, brings new experiences. How we handle these waves determines what we take away from them. Meeting them with symmetry and poise can lead to growth, while getting bowled over leaves us feeling churned.

The Kids/No-Kids Divide

The divide between parents and non-parents is very real. Parents focus on their kids and communicate in parent language, leaving non-parents feeling left out. But we should try to forgive our friends with kids. They might be preoccupied, but they still need us. They could be feeling lonely too.

Friends are there to reassure us of our existence, find us interesting even when we think we're boring, and hold on to the better parts of us. Some of our friends with kids will come back, and we should have courage and hold on to hope.

Dealing with Regret in Old Age

Our 75-year-old reader read Erik Erikson in college and expected to be satisfied at the end of life. But instead, they look back with regret, seeing only their mistakes. Heartache haunts them as their daughter cut them off due to their wine-drinking habit. Their son lives with them but suffers from anxiety and can't go anywhere.

James offers a poem as a source of comfort. When misery comes, make a nice sandwich, move towards health, put on clean clothes, and enjoy nature. It's a reminder to take small steps towards a better life.